


From Afar and A Little Near

by Eshli



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Crushes, High School AU, High School Angst, Human!Caliborn, Human!Calliope, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-07
Updated: 2012-10-07
Packaged: 2017-11-15 19:29:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/530876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eshli/pseuds/Eshli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Caliborn thinks Dirk is the most perfect thing he's ever seen. Only, there's a few problems in the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	From Afar and A Little Near

**Author's Note:**

> this one shot sucks

He was so outrageously perfect that it pissed you right the fuck off. You hated him as much as you wanted him and you hated that you wanted him and you hated that you hated that because everything you did was okay and damn it if it didn’t make you simmering in your own confusion.

You watched him constantly. Calliope told you that it was creepy but you informed her, ever so kindly thank you very much, that she was a fat bitch who masturbated with wooden sticks so she could go fuck off, whore.

You would watch him if you damn well pleased. He was glorious in every way. A regular genius. No, seriously, that wasn’t even you talking. He was the very number one student in your entire school. He had, at the age of fourteen, created something close to an artificial intelligence. He was in all of the elite clubs after school and taught the honor students something worth learning.

You had him in every single class and in every single class, you watched him. The way his shoulders slouched and the way he would be so bored with every stupid thing the bitch teacher would be spluttering out of her gabber hole.

You watched the tension between his shoulders and often times you ached to reach out and touch, even a little, to relieve him of that tension. God, it made you sick with how much you wanted him.

He drew a lot.

Sometimes they were doodles but sometimes…

Sometimes when you peered over his shoulder, you saw the explicit curve of a man’s ass and the swell of a anatomically correct dick. He drew men fucking, men naked, men jerking themselves off. 

It was…distracting. So very distracting.

You complimented his drawings once. Choked and struggled, you reached a shaking finger out and it barely brushed his shoulder before he whipped his head around and fixed you with such a crushingly intimidating stare that you could only squeak out and undignified noise.

“Your drawings-.” 

“What about them?” Dirk replied, his words slow and calm. He was drawing porn again and didn’t even show the slightest bit of shame! What a filthy little-.

“They’re…nice. I..I like them.” Why in the cock-sucking fuck was it so hard to say anything worth saying to his face? Why couldn't you be fucking clever? You were, you had the potential, but it was gone when you needed it and you wanted to stab yourself in the balls.

“Thanks.”

That was it. That had been your only contact with him and when he turned back around, you wanted to pass out. You had never been so smoldered and hot in your life. You had to request to go to the bathroom just to touch yourself a little.

Holed up in the handicap stall, you pulled your legs up onto the toilet seat and pushed a hand between your legs. Squeezing your eyes shut, you gargled down a breath and tried not to pant Dirk’s name out.

You touched yourself a lot to him. Once a week at least. You liked to think he’d be into all that nasty shit. Like bondage and spanking and maybe even cross-dressing. Oh fuck did it make you rowdy to think about.

After you were done, you went back to the classroom and sat down. It wasn’t long before lunch and you had devised a willy plan. Oh yes, you would play the ultimate game of hearts! You were so clever that you could make yourself sick with how clever you were. It made your loins burn with teenage excitement and hope.

Practically skipping to the cafeteria, you swung around inside with your books clasped to your chest only to slip straight through a pile of mashed potatoes that someone must’ve dropped.

Instantly, you fell straight on your ass and dropped every single thing you had been carrying in your arms.

Laughter filled your ears from every single direction and you felt your face burn up hot and red. You ground your crooked teeth together, gnashing them, before you started to splutter and screech out of control.

“Fucking maggots, all of you! Worthless scum between my fucking toes. I’ll murder you all in your fucking sleep and smack the bitches that are your mothers around in bed!” you yelled and screamed and kicked your feet out when suddenly you had a face full of pasta sauce. 

There was a silence that eluded the entire cafeteria. From between two strings of spaghetti, you could see Dirk. He was right there. Watching your humiliation. The downfall of your existence. 

You felt something pull deep inside of your chest. The heat in your face intensified but was hidden by the pasta dripping down over your too rounded cheek bones and your jaunty jaws. 

“Look!” someone shouted, “He’s crying!”

The laughter that boomed after that was too much. You stood up and whipped around to face the person who had yelled that out. Instantly, you slammed your fist into the side of their head.

“Fuck. YOU!” you screamed, and picked up their tray, ready to slam it down over their head when suddenly a hand grabbed your wrist.

It was that frigid bitch. Calliope.

“No, stop it,” she rushed, “Please? I know he’s a dick but this isn’t okay. You’re going to get in trouble,” she said hurriedly and eventually, you dropped the tray. Your sister pulled you out of the cafeteria and down the hall to the girl’s bathroom.

Sitting you down on the sinks, she went to the paper towels and ripped a handful out. Neither of you spoke while she cleaned up your face. Her pudgy face was beat-red and she looked troubled in a way that almost made you feel guilty.

“He saw,” you said, bitter and angry.

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t fucking do anything!”

She didn’t reply. She just kept cleaning you up until finally she nodded for you to get down from the sink. You spun around and looked at yourself in the mirror. 

Dirk Strider was a really handsome boy. He was perfect, as you had clearly dictated earlier, but he was also just so handsome. He was pretty but masculine. Thin but muscular. Handsome.

And you?

You weren’t.

You were really ugly, actually, and normally that didn’t bother you. Or you tried to not let it bother you.

But you were invisible to him.

You always had been.

The one person you just wanted the attention of didn't ever really see you until you were on your ass and in tears like some fool.

“I just want to talk to him,” you growled, eyes beat red but no, you wouldn’t cry in front of Calliope, not that fucking cow.

“I know,” she said and you turned on her. She looked uncomfortable but she wasn’t looking at you. You called her a worthless piece of shit before you shoved past her and out of the bathroom.

You got suspended for a week. Which was torture. You had nothing to do at home except for play a couple of games and fantasize about Dirk Strider. You lived a couple blocks over from him and finally one day, you got up to do something you had never done before.

You biked over to his house. You threw the bike down in his yard. You marched up to his door and smashed your hand into it until it swung open.

It was his little fucktard brother Dave.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he asked, sneering.

“Shut your whore mouth. Get the older Strider.”

“Fuck you.”

“Get the Strider ELDER, you idiot!”

“Even if you weren’t being a dick, I ain’t doing shit, man. He’s busy.”

“What in the fucking shit could he be busy with?”

“His boyfriend, maybe? They’re like, fucking, or something.”

“Boyfriend?!” you screeched, loud enough that Dave actually reached out and slapped his hand down over your mouth.

“Dude!”

You smacked his hand away.

“What do you mean his boyfriend? He doesn’t have a boyfriend.”

“Yeah, he actually does. Has for a while now.”

“What is the slut’s name!”

“Jake’s?”

“Jake? Jake?! What in the hell kind of name is that? Sounds like the cunt has herpes!”

“The fu- do you have turrets?”

“No, you ignorant swine! Who is this Jake you speak of?”

“If I tell you, are you going to like, go eat his face or something?”

“No! I merely inquire about the boy in which Dirk is apparently inserting his dick into.”

“Nasty, man. Nasty. But okay, listen, name’s Jake English. Goes to the private school twenty minutes away from here.”

“How did he meet him?”

“Through my girlfriend. Jake’s her cousin. Came around sometimes and hey, the dude's hot, can't really blame Dirk for snatching up that piece of meat.”

“Filthy inbred pigs!”

“Wow, okay, great, I’m going to close the door now.”

He did. He slammed it right into your face! The nerve of that bitch! You pounded the door one last good time before you turned around and sprinted off the yard, grabbing your bike and rushing home.

By the time you got to your room, you couldn’t stop screaming. You couldn’t stop screaming as you threw down your computer. You didn’t stop when you broke your TV or ripped up your bed or smashed your window.

You didn’t stop screaming until your voice gave out and every fiber of fight left you. 

You sat down in the only undestroyed corner of your room and dropped your head against the wall.

He had a boyfriend.


End file.
